Obligatory Cubs Post - 5/9/24, Cubs 8 - Padres 9

 

Fat Kris Bryant does NOT look happy

I know I said before that I don't care about the Cubs anymore, and I don't, but something about blowing the dust off this blog made me want to check in on them. Besides, who doesn't creep on their ex every so often, you know? I'd say "don't judge" but considering how I captioned the above photo (his real name is Luke Little, I think) I can't exactly claim the moral high ground. 

Anyway, I was delighted to learn the Cubs just finished blowing an 8-0 lead last night, ultimately losing 8-9 in what would end up being the biggest comeback in the San Diego Padres' 56 year history. I mean, look, I'm not happy they lost but there's no denying this is the sort of game I would've had an absolute field day with back when I first started this thing. So let's talk about it. 

Cubs starter Javier Assad went five scoreless innings and apparently looked great. I say "apparently" because I didn't watch a single pitch of this game. Also, let's be clear, even when I was watching the Cubs every day I never really had any idea what I was talking about, so I certainly have little to offer now. But yeah, sure, he looked great! Incredible, even. Superhuman. 

But then the sixth inning came and, because Assad was flirting with the 100-pitch mark, there's an argument to be made that he shouldn't have been sent back out. Not MY argument, of course, because as I've already established I am a moron. But AN argument, certainly. An argument could also be made that all dogs are, in fact, figments of our collective imagination. The point is, arguments about things you don't understand are fun but ultimately dumb. At least I think that's my point. 

The Cubs would go on to give up 7 runs in their fever dream of a sixth inning, which included a brutal error by the normally surehanded shortstop Dansby Swanson (another delightful detail considering how much I used to love writing about Starlin Castro's schizophrenic fielding woes at short). An eighth inning Fernando Tatis 2-run homer and a meek, three-up three-down ninth for the Cubs sealed the embarrassing loss. 

Now for a new section of the blog called Postgame Quotes I Enjoyed.

Postgame Quotes I Enjoyed

Thanks for joining me for in this new section, which is called Postgame Quotes I Enjoyed. 

My favorite post-game quote comes from Swanson, who noted that "momentum is a real thing." This is either a deeply profound observation predicated on an intimate understanding of the innate dynamism that is the web of energies exchanged by professional athletes locked in competition, OR it is a shallow reminder that words are, indeed, words. I'm hoping it's the latter. Hope, after all, is also a real thing. 

My second favorite quote is from manager Craig Counsell, known primarily for the almost unbelievably stupid-looking batting stance he utilized in his playing days. At least that's what I know him for.

   I mean, come on

 

Counsell said, of the loss, "it was just one of those nights where they had some good at-bats and we couldn't make the next pitch and get the next out. And they made us pay for it.” Now there's nothing inherently wrong with this quote, I just like the idea of saying "it was just one of those nights where..." and then proceeding to describe in exact detail what the night was like. I'm going to start doing it too. Next time somebody asks how my day was I'll respond "well, it was just one of those days where I woke up at 5:00 am, sat on my naked ass in the shower for 45 minutes, went to work and said a variety of words and sentences and then finally came home and ate sweet corn directly out of a can for dinner."

Hey, go Cubs I guess. 

ITS JUST ONE OF THOSE DAYS