What the actual fuck is up with this guy?
Another day, another impeccable photoshop.
A few weeks ago I created a post suggesting that a left-pawed dog would be a better option for the Cubs as a fifth starter than Paul Maholm. Yeah I know, that's pretty funny, thank you. As of April 20th (when I wrote the post), Maholm was sitting at 0-2 after putting up a nearly identical line in two straight games en route to an ERA of 13.50. At the time I figured Maholm had some serious potential to be the figurehead/lightning rod/dude who shat himself in the public square/laughing stock of my new blog. Smash cut to:
20 days later, the fucking guy has gone 4-0 with a 1.06 ERA in his last four starts! Am I the one who caused this? Yes. Yes, I am.
Anyway, Maholm pitched another gem today and between him, Dempster, Samaradkhjxaifdnak, and Garza, our rotation kinda resembles one of those nerdy girls who you wouldn't expect to be hot, and isn't, but probably would be if it weren't for that one grossly over-sized toe (Chris Volstad is the toe).
TheHair had two more hits today and what ended up being the game-winning RBI, so he's probably on track to win an award, like "Chicago Cubs Silver Slugger MVP" or "NL Central Guy of 1st Base" or "Best Smile." Or something else. He's now hitting .384 with 8 homers in 28 games. Meanwhile Anthony Rizzo recently hit his 250th home run of the season in Iowa, so whenever his arbitration situation finally allows us to call him up it's going to be good times left and right watching these two hit in the same lineup.
But until then let's just kick back and watch the NL Central eat itself alive. Seriously, everybody but the Cardinals in this division is just god-awful. Bud Selig should require whichever team loses the NL Central to take a five year (minimum) organization-wide sabbatical to seriously reconsider their collective career choices.
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