Yeah take your gay little "I-sprint-during-home-runs" act elsewhere, bub
Marlon Byrd is gone folks, and he's taking his .070 average with him. His departure paves the way for the TONY CAMPANA ERA TO BEGIN! FUCK YEAH!
LOOK HOW FUCKING EXCITED EVERYBODY IS! LOOK AT THEM!
Actually, Byrd leaving town doesn't really mean anything other than that things are continuing to go according to Theo's master plan. Out with the old, in with the youngsters. Developmental baseball. It still remains to be seen whether Brett Jackson will see the majors this year, but this move suggests we'll see him sooner rather than later. Or later rather than sooner depending on when you originally expected to see him. Guess that expression is pretty stupid.
BUT I DIGRESS. While Byrd's on-field performance so far this year suggests the Cubs would land little more than a pre-owned Segway in return for him, we ended up getting Red Sox RHP Michael Bowden. This is cool because when I was in high school he actually pitched against us. This is not cool because he is not particularly good. But he's only 25, throws hard, and has a lot of upside so we'll see. Cool.
This post is starting to get a little too serious, so I'd like to address something real quick. I'm worried that the mole on Sveum's face is going to become a clubhouse distraction. Discuss.
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