"Sorry, bros." - Theo Epstein
We're in a rebuilding year. That's fine for the players, that's fine for the fans, and that's fine for the organization...but that kind of fucking blows for Len and Bob. There's only so many times they can talk about the future of the club. They can discuss Starlin Castro, Anthony Rizzo, Brett Jackson, Maybe a Good Young Starting Pitcher Someday, and the foreseeable not-this-year-but-totally-soon-you-guys potential of the Chicago Cubs until the cows come home (as if cows ever leave home, that expression sucks), but there's still 150 some odd games to go this year. And no matter how good the two of them are at ad-libbing there's going to be moments where there just isn't anything to talk about. I'd like to try and help. Here are a few things I'd like to see/hear during the seemingly infinite 4th innings to come where we're down five runs:
- Potential Bob Brenly toupee styles
- Full games broadcasted entirely via bass guitar
- DOW-JONES updates
- Discussions surrounding Len Kasper's sex life
- Spirited rounds of Fuck-Marry-Kill during the WGN Fan Cam segments
- Coke or Pepsi, WHO YA GOT?
- Real-time Bulls check-ins
- Vodka tastings
- Whiskey tastings
- Harry Caray impressions
- High stakes gambling
- On-air salary negotiations with Tom Ricketts
- Gin tastings
- Bob Brenly shouting suggestions from the booth at Steve Clevenger to improve his ability to catch baseballs
- Arm wrestling
- Leg wrestling
- WWE style wrestling
- and Bill Murray
If we can't have an exciting baseball team in 2012 we might as well have an exciting broadcast team.
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