Exclusive Look at Ryan Dempster's MRI

Ryan Dempster had an MRI earlier Friday and the Cubs have officially released this image:

100% Medically Accurate

What you're looking at is what doctors refer to as "A Bunch Of Tiny Explosions In His Knee and Leg." In laymen's terms, this means a number of tiny hydrogen bombs are rapidly detonating in Dempster's knee at a rate of More Explosions Than One Would Prefer Per Hour, or METOWPPH. Cubs trainer Mark O'Neal says that an injury of this magnitude "probably should have killed him, as well as this whole god forsaken season."

Dempster is listed as "probable" for Sunday's start against the Cincinnati Reds.